14112013, 0311hrs

A little more than 730days.

Experienced a great deal, learnt a whole lot.
So much pain but i gained a lot more. I had nothing to lose since I had nothing at all.
Or rather, I lost everything I had previously.

A small part of me died when you left.
“Don’t wait to realise you shouldn’t have waited.”
I should have known.

“I don’t want people to matter too much to me. Sometimes it hurts too much to think about them. Ones you love who don’t love you, ones who are dead or hate you. I like people but when I get too close it fucks me up and I can’t get things done.”

For years I kept to this.

This time however, I can’t afford to lose anything, or anyone again.

250811 23:09

After 8 months, I received a fb msg from you. Again. You never fail to surprise me. In a bad way.

How I wish it wasn’t this case.

180811 22:26

I cry too easily.

180811 22:24

I just want to graduate so I don’t have to go pass your place again.

How do I smile?

Don’t you know that?

I am alone but never lonely.


I like how the light is shining at me right now.
My own limelight.

I just don’t know if I want to do it anymore, get close to somebody so they can leave again.

Don’t wear something for the sake of trends, but wear it because you want to; because it makes you happy.

120511 2253hrs

Many a times, I want to give up on you. But I can’t. You are the dearest person to me, and the weakest one. I don’t understand why you have to give in to sadness.

Everyone should create their own opportunities to grasp hold of happiness. Why don’t you give yourself a chance? I’ve been trying my hardest, but I can’t help you. I can only encourage you.

Many a times, I asked myself why I was born into this family; why do I have to suffer such a fate? Was I being prepared to face a terrible future? No one knows.

I fought really hard but no one sees it. People left me because they thought i was selfish. What spurred me to fight on? You. And I wanted to show myself that I wouldn’t be as useless as him. But you? You are not even putting in any effort to help yourself. I never like thinking about losing or failing. I’ve always thought that so long you’ve tried your best, no one can pull you down. But no, you’ve just shown me how weak a person you are. You were never like this. I grew up with you as a role model because you were the kindest and most forgiving soul.

But right now, you are just a defeated body.